Stupid Christian Facebook Statuses

Here are just a few of the Stupid Christian Facebook Statuses showing on my board. What about you? Are there any you find particularly annoying? Add them to the comment section. Hopefully some bozo who googles “Christian Statuses for Facebook” will find us. Consider it reverse evangelism – WAKE UP YOU IDIOTS. YOU ARE YOUR OWN MASTER, DAMMIT.

WITHOUT GOD… our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday, Seven days without God – Makes one Weak! (If you’re not ashamed of God, post this to your status.)

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way… He love us

What consumes your thoughts today????? FEAR, LACK, SADNESS, DESPAIR, PAIN, BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS??? Jeremiah 29:11) For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12) In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13) If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

So what are the lamest religious facebook statuses on your page?

89 thoughts on “Stupid Christian Facebook Statuses

  1. Kathy Post author

    All caps, come on…. really? Are you aware that it looks like you’re shouting and it makes it difficult to understand.

  2. Kathy Post author

    Congratulations. I had no anger in posting it, just amusement. I think it’s really pathetic, really but I realize some people find comfort in it. I think I’d rather people just comfort themselves with reality. To each his own…

  3. Dara

    I’m a christian on facebook and will post whatever I like. One day you will meet your maker and find out that these people were right. There are no atheists in hell. I tell you this because it is truth, not out of hate, but of love.

  4. A Christian

    Honestly, all of those statuses are true! And the reason why they bold the words is to make them stand out because they are important! Just like the message they are trying to get across to those who need it the most.

  5. Bryan

    I am a christian and I believe that Christians need to refrain from posting Christian posts. It makes you look like a ranting lunatic and keeps your non believing friends from Christ. Christian statuses would only be fine if you had christian friends exclusively. CHristian statuses are inhibiting for non believers


    i am a strong Christian. If people have the nerve to post gossip other useless information on facebook, then sharing the news of Our Savior is PERFECTLY FINE! I will be praying for all those who have not experienced the love of Christ. He sent his son to die for YOUR, Mine, and EVERYONES Sins. The Bible is the perfect place to find all the answers you are looking for.

  7. Religion is Ignorance

    These facebook statuses are extremely annoying, Imagine having your wall filled with pictures of burning crosses and qoutes about how religion is stupidity go to athiesm. It is about the same for non religious people nobody wants to hear you vomit forth the ignorance, besides religious beliefs should be kept to yourself or others that share the same views.

  8. Kathy Post author

    I disagree, how would we filter out the idiots if everyone kept their irrational beliefs to themselves? Let your freak flags fly, Christians of the world…

  9. Karen

    Why oh WHY are there Christian people on this site posting stuff about their god?
    This site is clearly marked “Atheist Homeschooler”.


  10. Kimberly

    Curious how Christians think that Atheists “hate god”. It’s like hating Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. How can you hate something that doesn’t exist?

    As far as the Facebook statuses, a friend of mine used to post things about how great Jesus is and how she loves her church groups. Then, her married lover went back to his wife after he knocked her up. She is now 6 months pregnant, alone, and had to move back in with her parents (2000 miles away from the baby daddy). She doesn’t post stuff like that anymore. I guess Jesus isn’t so great when his teachings don’t keep you from making these stupid choices, right?

    I don’t drill into other people’s heads that God doesn’t exist so why do they have to preach their faith to me? I have no one to blame for my mistakes except myself and no one else to take credit for my accomplishments except me. I am who I am, deal with it.

    Thank you for listening. 🙂

  11. Truly Christian

    Bryan, how can you be Christian and say that we shouldn’t post statuses about our belief? We need to show the world the change that has taken place in us to everyone through christ’s son. It is a great thing to post about your faith!

  12. Michael

    I am a strong non-Christian because the truth of the matter is that:
    1. we evolved.
    2. People don’t have souls.
    3. We are biological and material. Nothing else.
    4. There are no atheists in hell because there is no hell.
    5. There are no Christians in heaven because there is no heaven.
    6. I don’t hate God because there is no God.
    7. I don’t hate the Easter Bunny because there is no Easter Bunny.
    8. The bible is a piece of literature compiled over centuries by bronze age people who loved legend, mythology and religion.
    I don’t have any Facebook examples but because I live and work in the bible belt, I am inundated with emails daily about Jesus this and Jesus that. Mostly pray this prayer and Jesus will give you something good as long as you pass it along to 20 other idiots. Clogging up servers and wasting people’s time with this crap seems to give Christians great pleasure.

  13. Heather

    I typed in Mission Trips on Google, and this came up. I clicked on it. Wow, I am 15 years old and experiences A LOT in my life. My dad died when I was very young, and I have gone through depression. God put me through everything because he wanted me to draw closer to him. I will pray very very hard for you. This makes me sick.

  14. Sydney

    Wow. Thanks for the statuses. Apparently im a bozo, because i looked up chrsitian facebook statuses. But im a bozo for the one True and Holy God. Im sorry you feel the way you feel. All i know is my God is a good God. and He loves you so very much.

  15. William T Walker

    I am old. I have been beaten over the head with Christianity for many years. “Good Christians” will tell me that I will burn in hell for eternity and then tell me the only reason they told me that is because they love me. Ninety nine percent of the “Christians” I know do not know anything at all about the Bible. They know what some preacher has told them and they take that as the truth. Now, when I am approached by someone who tells me all the bad things that happen to “unbelievers” I give them a little quiz on the Bible. So far — I haven’t had one to pass my test. Does that mean they will all burn in hell for eternity????

  16. Jeremy

    @Heather, i am sorry about your father, but you need to wake up. These things (unfortunately) happen, and you decide that no matter what that god did it? That like praying to (the imaginary) God and if it works you praise the lord, if it doesnt then god works in mysterious ways.

    Hopefully one day you will realize God does not exist (just like santa) and move on.

  17. Joseph

    Alright atheists, religion frustrates me as much as the next guy but let’s see if we can get some of our logical frustrations to click with these guys. 1Why did God make us? He had a goal that needed to be fulfilled. Idk about you, but I don’t think having a void that needs to be filled is charcateristic of an omnipotent, confident being. 2Let’s say he was justified in trying to fulfill his goal, why does he allow evil in our lives? Christians say its so we can come closer to him, be fulfilled and all that good stuff. Look, since he is ALL powerful and ALL loving, he could find a way to accomplish whatever he wants to accomplish without allowing for the existence of evil. The fact that he has the ability to accomplish a meaninful goal without the existence of evil yet allows it to exist anyway, makes him sadistic. Justify allowing evil to occur.

  18. Joseph

    And another thing! God, according to most religions, is holding a gun to our heads asking “Do you believe I love you?!” ‘Dude, don’t say that; that’s messed up.’ That’s right, god is holding an eternity in hell before us which is much worse. Say there actually is a right religion, how can we be expected to know which is the right one? ‘He gave us the Bible.’ Ok let’s get a few things straight. He also gave us the Quran, Buddah, Darwin, and mother goose; why he decided to allow the world to be so confused is beyond me. Another thing, just think. Before someone accepts the Bible as god’s word, he has to accept that his ‘penman’ wasn’t lying when he claimed to be inspired by God. ‘God wouldn’t allow someone to lie about him.’ Explain Islam, Buddhism, etc. One last thing, “You deserve to go to hell because you were Born sinful!” Look, I didn’t choose to be born this way; if someone designed me this way he can’t hold me accountable for it. “I made you born with a sin nature! Now you must pay the consequence and burn in hell… unless of course you realize and admit that you are puny and that I love you.”

  19. True Christian

    Greetings in the name of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. First I would like to say I am a proud Christian and I do believe in God. Being a christian is not trying to prove to people that God exist but being an example that God lives within us. The problem with some christians is that they think God will do everything for them, truth is, is that God wants for us to solve our own problems. And by solving our own problems we read in the bible about a man named Jesus who set that example for us to live like him. I am not a hater of Atheist if anything I have three atheist friends and we get along very well. I can be myself around them and they can be their selves around me. I’m assuming that these atheist are from the U.S. seeing that the United States has a high population of atheist. I would like for you to know that your freedom of being an atheist in the US was founded by christian men. Men who believed strongly in God who signed the declaration of independence so you can have your freedom in not believing in God. Many strong men and women who made a difference in this world believed strongly in God. Am I trying to tell you God exist? Not necessarily. But that believing in something brings out the great man or women. I like to believe that having faith in Jesus Christ has made me a better man. I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t, and die to find out there is. God Bless you all

  20. Shane

    I try to follow a live and let live philosophy when it comes to religion but hearing christians criticizing Atheists for being “ignorant” in these comments just makes me so angry! What in the world have you ever experienced to give you faith in “your god” other than a bunch of other blind fools spewing the nonsense at you and an old book that says it happened. There are libraries full of ancient books professing the existence of gods like Zeus and Hades but no one believes in them anymore. The reason you are able to discredit every other god, is the same reason why I am able to discredit yours.

  21. Mom of Three

    I hate the: If you repost this, Jesus will answer a prayer for you! Or, “Will you be one of the 98% who don’t repost their love of the Lord???” The first sounds like a chain letter. The second is just obnoxious. All these people have free rein to post this crap (of course, I have free rein to iggy them), when, if I posted my views? Whoa man! First of all, I’m still their friends even though they have mythical thinking. We just don’t discuss it. But if I brought up atheism? On the other hand, my friends list is kind of long…

  22. Mom of Three

    I also love it when people’s minds get so twisted up that they end up GRATEFUL for someone who has allegedly killed their loved one! I understand needing to believe it to self-soothe. But that’s a bit like Stockholm Syndrome.

  23. Mavet

    I love this blog. 🙂

    I think it’s quite annoying that not one religious person can get on here without the whole “Jesus loves you!!!!111” rant. Meh.

  24. Kirsten

    To all of the Christains saying that Athiests hate god, please stop. There are many of us who don’t hate god. We just don’t believe in god. How many of you Christians have ever been in an Athiest’s shoes? I am a former Christian, and I still go to church and Sunday school every Sunday for 2 hours. I put in more time at church than most Christians my age do (I’m 16). Heck, I even participate in mission trips and youth group. The only difference is that I don’t believe in god. I love all of my Christian friends, they’re great people, but what I don’t like are the Christans who say Athiests are ignorant, going to hell, hate god, etc. So please, don’t insult us Athiests, that’s not what Jesus would want. After all, we’re human beings just like you.

  25. Rob Petersen

    Thanks for the perspective. I would have to agree that many Facebook statuses I’ve seen posted by fellow believers are not very helpful to those who don’t believe. Of the examples you’ve posted above, the middle one is simply the lyrics to a song sung by the David Crowder Band. The other two are pretty horrible. I also loathe the “repost” updates…about anything. As a Christian minister, I post about Christianity probably 75% of the time; it is who I am, and I see social media as a place for self-expression. I want to be a persuasive voice in the marketplace of ideas. Most of the time I am challenging fellow Christians to think through issue and be more accurate representations of the God they claim to follow. However, on behalf of all those “Christians” who have used social media to beat you up, distort Christ’s message, or further alienate you folks, I just want to apologize. There are many of us who respect you and value you.

  26. Quinn (Sophomore in HS)

    You could say I don’t have a religious preference. I wouldn’t like to call myself an Atheist but I’m certainly not a close-minded Christian. All these religious people on here are posting something alone the lines of “How are you so ignorant! God loves you and will show you the truth some day!!”. It’s really quite pathetic how you just assume you’re correct with absolutely no real reason to do so. The only thing you have is the Bible and that doesn’t even prove anything. I can spend a year or two of my life writing a huge storybook about how the evil dragons will come down from the sky at night and attack all those who don’t worship them 10 times a day, and that if you continue to follow the stipulations that the dragons have laid down for you, you will be rewarded with 100 years of bliss after you die. Then, I’ll bury it in the ground and make sure it takes about 2,000 years to find. That doesn’t mean it’s true! There is no such thing as a correct man-made religion. If there was a correct religion, there wouldn’t be thousands of belief systems. Stop being so ignorant and close-minded and realize that you don’t have the answers. In fact, you have no answers, and have been lying to yourself all your life. Is there a God? NOT LIKELY, BUT NO ONE KNOWS! Is there a heaven? NOT LIKELY, BUT NO ONE KNOWS! Science is the only tool that could possibly help us answer these huge questions, and so far it’s supported Atheism more than anything else. Sorry.

  27. Jason

    I love how all christians assume that everyone else is now or was at one time a christian.I have never in my life believed in their silly mythology.But,every time someone finds out that Im an anti-theist,their response is “What happened,dont you want to fix your personal relationship with our silly savior?” No,as a matter of fact I don’t.I don’t have any hole in my heart,Im not miserable,lonely,desperate,afraid of hell,nor do I feel like “something is missing in my life”.Its called personal accountability and assuming responsibility for your own destiny and actions.If my life goes great,its because I tried hard worked for what I wanted-not gods grace.If I encounter tough times,I recognize that life is just hard sometime.I dont get on my knees and beg my imaginary friend for mercy.Im sorry,but prayer is ridiculous,Its a suger-pill for weak minded babies.Hard work and self reliance folks,thats all there is.You don’t deserve shit in this life that you don’t earn on your own.Grow up..the rest of out here find your faith laughable,and truthfully,when I find out someone I’ve met believes in that nonsense,I look at them like a child.If you talked to an invisible friend called Dave you would get locked up,but as long as your imaginary playmate is called “jesus’ Its OK? Please..Buy a little blanket and teddy bear if you need security so badly..

  28. Tiki

    How can you all “true christians” believe in thing like that? Modern science has proved that earth has existed nearly 4 billion years.
    And you believe god created this all some 7000 years ago? Radiocarbon dating can say the age of matter +/-1year accurately. Even the nearest rock
    in your front yard is millions of years old.

    And what will happen to the people who died before the birth of jesus? Will they be in hell then?

    We humans are all but organic beings formed from matter and cabable of self awareness. When we will die there will be no heaven nor hell. We will just die.
    I am Evangelical Lutheran Christian from finland and i completely dont believe in god or jesus, nor i agree with bible being the holy text of good. Its just
    so stupid to think that some “god” created us when it has been proved countless times by science that evolution is the only possible option to our creation.

    How many times genesis has been proved to be real?

  29. People need hobbies

    Why does everyone think they have the right answer? Just let it fucking go people…. This is an atheist site. It doesn’t say “Christians, tell us more about your god”. It says, tell us some of the pathetic useless information Christians give you on a daily basis. I am disappointed to live in a world where religion is more important than what’s REAL. There are millions of starving kids, adults, and animals out there. Now, not to sound rude, but I know more people who are atheist that would give the Shirt off their back to help others, but I don’t know 1 Christian that would look twice at a homeless man. How sad to think that some people live there whole life without ever knowing pain or empathy. You must help others in this world…. In this life. You will truly be rewarded here on EARTH for the good things you do. It is the way of our world. What goes around, comes back around. And that my friends, is the COLD HARD TRUTH.

  30. Angry and confused

    I hate “Christian” statuses because more often than not, they come off preachy and arrogant. Especially if they are followed by, “IF YOU DON’T REPOST THIS, YOU DON’T LOVE JESUS!!!!!!” I am an ex-Pentecostal, and have recently discovered that I’ve been deceived for many years by false religious lies. It has caused me to reconsider everything I’ve ever believed, and when I hear someone regurgitate the same old rhetoric, it makes me angry! Christians always talk about the grace of God, but they rarely share any of the grace that they’ve supposedly been given with others. Especially not to anyone outside their religious circle!

  31. Bonker

    We all rely on logic for survival. We know not to eat mushrooms from our front yards. We know that gravity can kill us if we fall off a tall building. We know that bears aren’t good cuddlers. How? Because we use our brains. However, when it comes to your eternal future, you must deny all logic and blindly believe. We’ll guess what, aliens exist. If you believe me you will be a millionaire when you die. However, if you don’t believe me you will burn in a fire for all eternity.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *