Monthly Archives: July 2010

Rewriting “the Rules”

Apparently there’s a revolution underway. I’m not the only one rewriting the rules.

I’m glad I’ve never heard of this guy, this columnist John Rosemond whose work is syndicated into newspapers all over the US.  Anyway he has this ridiculously miserable set of rules designed to make children as miserable as possible during their indoctrination.  If you like this- you can check out his website where he urges people to print them out and hang them in every room of the house.  If you do that, I recommend you paint something over the nasty words.

Because it is the most character-building, two-letter word in the English language, children have the right to hear their parents say “No” at least three times a day.
Children have the right to find out early in their lives that their parents don’t exist to make them happy, but to offer them the opportunity to learn the skills they will need to eventually make themselves happy.
Children have a right to scream all they want over the decisions their parents make, albeit their parents have the right to confine said screaming to certain areas of their homes.
Children have the right to find out early that their parents care deeply for them but don’t give a hoot what their children think about them at any given moment in time.
Because it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, children have the right to hear their parents say “Because I said so” on a regular and frequent basis.
Because it is the most character-building activity a child can engage in, children have the right to share significantly in the doing of household chores.
Every child has the right to discover early in life that he isn’t the center of the universe (or his family or his parents’ lives), that he isn’t a big fish in a small pond, and that he isn’t the Second Coming, so as to prevent him from becoming an insufferable brat.
Children have the right to learn to be grateful for what they receive, therefore, they have the right to receive all of what they truly need and very little of what they simply want.
Children have the right to learn early in their lives that obedience to legitimate authority is not optional, that there are consequences for disobedience, and that said consequences are memorable and, therefore, persuasive.
Every child has the right to parents who love him/her enough to make sure he/she enjoys all of the above rights.

Luckily, some unschooling mom – Flo, I believe, rewrote those horrid rules and posted the “Unschooler’s Bill of Rights” which is, by far, much more pleasant. I imagine the children think so, too.

It sickens me that they call it “traditional parenting.” But I guess that’s a semantic issue. Who on earth wants to raise their children with a deep-rooted feeling of worthlessness?  Apparently a lot of people because he sells parenting classes and coaching sessions.

I am so grateful that my life isn’t like that. I’m glad that my family doesn’t buy into that kind of garbage.

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I know I’m guilty of it (pessimism, that is) every now and then, but just now I got one of those forwarded emails, the one that has like ten thousand email addresses in the header where it’s been forwarded a million times. When I get those, it makes me wish I knew who buys email lists to spam. Either way, the message that was being forwarded was the most miserable piece of crap I’ve read in.. well.. hours. There was a New York Times article about how much people hate being parents, but that was really nothing compared to this. And I’m including the name of the Southern California real estate agent who was the original sender, in case you want to hire an agent, you can avoid Mr Miserable

Sent: Saturday, July 10, 2010 12:18 PM
Subject: Please consider letting your children read this.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up,it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this -Thank a teacher!
If you can read this in English – thank a soldier!!!

Fred Konigsbach
Keller Williams Realty
(818) 584-1330

I don’t even know where to start, to respond to this garbage. And the person who sent it is … related to me. Very closely, I might add. When I saw the subject line, I was curious, but when I read it, I was mortified. Perhaps I should let my kids write that real estate agent a response. What a miserable jerk. I’m so glad I’m not his kid. I have a few rules of my own, for the jerk

Rule 1.  Life is fair. You get what you put into it, you reap the rewards and consequences of what you sow. In the end, you learn that what matters most is how you treat the ones you love because that’s how they will treat you

Rule 2.  Self-esteem is just a code word for families who want to teach their kids to pretend to be happy, without taking the time to learn what brings them joy.  Self worth and REAL esteem come from being proud of yourself and knowing that others value your contribution.  Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be better, so that YOUR real world will be a place you’re proud of and help the ones around you do the same.

Rule 3.  These days, everyone has a cell phone. it’s actually cheaper to have a cell phone than a land line and it’s portable. Smart financial decisions like that are more important than your salary. If you want to be vice president, go for it. Just don’t spend more than you’re making because credit cards are for losers. And sure- there are people who win the lottery, inherit millions or land a dream job. All you need to worry about it YOUR dream, and make it happen.

Rule 4.  School is bullshit, you’re right. And if you grow up and find that a J.O.B. doesn’t suit you either, then you’ll have to learn to manage on your own.  Self-employment isn’t for followers.  Everyone can’t be a leader. If you enjoy your job but your boss is a jerk, move on or view it as a stepping stone.  There’s no reason to surround yourself with miserable people- EVER. Life’s too precious

Rule 5.  If you don’t want to flip burgers, you don’t have to.  I wouldn’t want to contribute to the processed food industry, either.  There are a million ways to earn income and just because your grandparents settled for burger flipping, it doesn’t mean you need to. We’ve come a long way. burgers were new & cool in those days.

Rule 6. There are so very few REAL mistakes you can make in life.  You can always re-evaluate, re-analyze and turn a situation around. Always. As your parents, we’re here whenever you need a shoulder to cry on or to brainstorm a new path.

Rule 7. Before you were born, your parents had no idea what it would take to raise a child. mentally, physically, emotionally. There’s just nothing that can compare to the excitement of watching a new human discover the world.  They do the best they can, but sometimes forget that they can learn from you, too.

Rule 8. There’s no such thing as winners & losers. You just need to make sure that you’re playing a game you’re good at. We’re all made differently for a reason. Learn to appreciate the different skills & abilities of people around you, rather than dividing people up into winners or losers.  There aren’t 2 kinds of people in the world, there are millions.  Furthermore, there are no tests in real life, so you don’t need to worry about having right & wrong answers. In real life, people DO things, they don’t take tests all the time. Forget about the compulsion to know the right answer, and just enjoy the company you’re in. You never know when you might lose someone.

Rule 9. Every minute of every day is YOUR TIME. You decide what your life looks like. Your marriage (or not), your employment (or self-employment, freelancing, etc) is YOUR CHOICE.  If you’ve spent your childhood having all your decisions made FOR you, then you just might need to find yourself. Resist the temptation to trade one institution for another, you won’t find yourself in church. Do what makes you happy, do what brings you joy- THAT is who you are, and that is where you will find yourself.

Rule 10. Television is not real life. It’s entertainment. Even the news. But you knew that, right?

Rule 11. Don’t call people nerds. Unless it’s part of your relationship with that person whereby they have an equally oppressive nickname for you and you’re not offended to hear it.

If you agree- pass it on
If you can read this, you’re welcome
If you can read this in English, then you don’t need to know about free web translation services